The Everwind Times

Newspaper of the Verges

Ask Arva: My Neighbor Ate My Pet

Dear Arva:
My husband recently bought a derg as a surprise gift for our anniversary. I have never been fortunate enough to own a pet, but my husband got recruited on with the city guard, so it was a very exciting thing for both of us. We even named her Pandy. We live on the second floor, so during the day I’d leave the door open so she could go out onto the balcony. Apparently it wasn’t secure enough because one of my neighbors climbed up there somehow and took her down to his home and ate her.

I wanted to alert the authorities but I waited until my husband got home, as he works for the city guard, and he said there was nothing that could be done. They have more important things to worry about. He doesn’t seem very saddened by it. What should I do? – Pining for Pandy

Dear Pining:
Let me start by saying I’m sorry for your loss. It’s always a terrible thing when a prized possession is taken from you. The second thing I need to say is – what fantasy land have you been living in? Everyone knows having a derg is like having around a giant steak with legs. Supposing you left a giant steak out on your balcony within reach of a thousand starving mongrels. Would you be surprised if someone found a way to get to it? I doubt so.

It’s not uncommon for couples to resort to buying pets to compensate for the loss of children, especially now that nobody can have them. But like children, you have to take care of the derg or whatever pet you buy. While it is easy to blame your neighbor, you must understand that starving people do not act with prudence like civilized people do. One cannot blame the snake for being a snake. Next time be more diligent. Do not neglect your derg. Or better yet – do not buy a derg in the first place.

With care,
Arva


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